IFFR’s Conrad & Crab — Idiotic Gems is a humorous, unconventional investigative tale of two veteran detectives whose quest for the ultimate truth about societal issues and inner desires turns into a philosophical act of self-reflection.
Claude Schmitz, a favourite at IFFR, again draws back the curtain on his usual French comedy for the screen. Although the narrative engine runs on his signature formula, it is now directed toward a veteran’s life, subjecting every detail to peculiar observation.
Two veteran detectives from the Criminal Investigation Department, Alain Crab and Francis Conrad, are brought to Sainte-Marie-aux-Mines to perform their official duty — to investigate the perpetrator who stole a victim’s ring. If you’re picturing the scope of a Scorsese or Nolan film, hold that thought. This story lives far from the sprawling, shadowy realms of thriller and neo-noir. This is a down-to-earth, unpretentious film rooted in small-town realism, following two veteran officers as they craft a narrative that feels effortlessly casual.
I believe Schmitz loves bringing mundanity and nonchalant vibes as his strongest weapons in his films — they don’t slow the pace but, in fact, double it. The film contrasts two figures — Crab, a seemingly steady detective whose small flaws disrupt the investigation, and Conrad, who is preoccupied with spinning the complex web of his own life. Their casual talks and irrelevant open conversations, along with a realistic approach to showing disbelief, act like narrative lapses that layer the plot in their own quirky way. Yet, within those very layers, a deeper meaning develops. Here, the central value is not the destination, but the mystery of the unconventional journey itself. The need to divert their energy toward dining and leisure, which somehow becomes a tactical advantage rather than a simple break, slowly steers the film toward a different perspective. In the process, its aftermath yields a few other iconic moments. An added advantage here is the beautiful views of Sainte-Marie-aux-Mines and the hidden gems highlighted through the cinematography by Florian Berutti, which aid the mood of the film — slow-moving yet shadowy and intriguing, quintessentially French.
Operating effortlessly as a realist comedy, the film offers a close examination of diverse communities, serving as a testament to the complex social layers present in township life. In Conrad & Crab — Idiotic Gems, Schmitz joins forces with Rodolphe Burger (Alain Crab) and Francis Soetens (Francis Conrad) to offer an incisive study of perspective and character that penetrates every layer of the narrative, including the detectives themselves. We witness, in their own complicated and hilarious philosophies, how humans (no matter their age, gender, or origin) reflect upon each other to understand their own inner desires and hopes.
At one point, it starts to wander off the investigative trail and moves toward a much broader scope. We can’t help but wonder — how did we become so easily immersed in this eccentric trap set by Schmitz? It’s that very realization that steals the show at its core.
The International Film Festival Rotterdam is running on 29 Jan – 8 Feb 2026.
